McNelly, Phyllis Filbrun

PITTSFORD – Simplicity and industriousness. These are the tenets Phyllis practiced during her long life (98 years, passing away July 16 in Rochester) and these were the beliefs of her ancestors, who founded the Church of the Brethren in 1708, and then came to America to escape religious persecution. Twelve of her great-grandfathers participated in the Revolutionary War. Always farmers, her ancestors migrated from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania to the area of the Northwest Territory that was to become Ohio.

Born on a farm in Sulphur Grove, Ohio, Phyllis experienced a difficult early life filled with loss (farmhouse burned to the ground, brother’s death, and loss of the family farm). During the Depression, the family moved from tenant farm to tenant farm, each worse than the previous. As the years went on, the family was able to re-establish itself and enjoyed visits from Phyllis’s most noted relative, Milton Hershey, founder of the Hershey Chocolate Company. It always was her job to give the chauffeur a drink of cold well-water.

She was the first in her family’s history to attend college, leaving after one year to marry Donald McNelly. Phyllis made her own simple wedding dress, which she soon modified to wear to her work at a machine gun factory during WWII. After moving to Indiana, she and her husband and their three children then moved to Rochester. Suburban living was a major adjustment for her, but she retained habits and skills learned on the farm, hunting wild berries and mushrooms, collecting nuts, and picking watercress in creeks. Ever simple and thrifty, she only placed pepper on the table at holidays and reused tin foil.

Her husband of 75 years was fond of offering the following advice to young men: “Always marry the right woman, like I did.” Phyllis’s quiet nature fit well with his attention-gathering personality. While seeing all her children through graduate schools, she returned to college in her 40s, earning a B.S. and M.S. at the University of Rochester. Before the social upheaval of the 1960s, she joined the Anti-Defamation League of B’nai B’rith, the NAACP, the Congress of Racial Equality, and was an officer of the local chapter of Planned Parenthood.

Unfailingly modest, few outside the family were aware of her artistic achievements. She won many awards in art shows – her husband would enter her work without her knowledge – painting with oils and watercolors. Her most notable work was in creating sculptures and objects made of hundreds and sometimes thousands of small shells.

A remarkable person, kind and without pretense.

Predeceased by husband Donald and daughter Nancy; survived by sons Thomas and Daniel, daughter-in-law Pamela McNelly; grandson Nicholas McNelly; sisters-in-law Doralene McNelly Davis, Jacqueline McNelly, Susan McNelly; and many nieces and nephews.

Private family service. Donations may be made to: Seneca Park Zoo Society, 2222 St. Paul St., Rochester, NY 14621.