Costello, Jr., Robert M. “Mike”

Robert M. Costello, Jr., “Mike,” passed away on Sunday, December 13, 2020, at the age of 74 at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester, New York.

He is pre-deceased by his parents, Robert M. Costello and Annamary Whealon Costello of Utica, New York.

Mike is survived by his wife of fifty years, Susan Parzych Costello.

Mike is also survived by six cherished brothers and sisters as well as several nieces and nephews:

Barbara Costello Frodella (Silvio, deceased) and their children Sheila and Sheila’s daughters Giulia and Matildi; William and his daughter Bianca; and Marco of Florence, Italy

Patrick Costello (Marie) of Utica, NY, and their children Caitlin (Jeff) and their children, Kara and Leah of Brighton, NY; Brian (Melissa) of Delmar, NY; and John of Buffalo, NY

Gail Lennon (Michael) of Utica, NY, and their children Michael (Megan)and their son Michael Lennon III of New York Mills, NY; Nicholas (Kathryn) and their children, Madison and William of Victor, NY; and Brendan (Angela) of New Hartford, NY

Kevin Costello of Utica, NY

Timothy Costello (Pam) of Clarkdale, AZ, and their children Dr. Collin Costello of Scottsdale, AZ, and Rachael, currently studying in Israel

Dr. Paul Costello (Dr. Chinda Costello) and their children Whealon, Carter, and Jonathan of Seattle, WA

Mike also leaves his sister-in-law Professor Patricia Parzych of New York City and his sister-in-law, Madeline, and her husband, William Schnell, of Remsen, New York, and their children, Andrea Schnell (Autumn) of Ottawa, Canada, and Daniel Schnell of Utica, NY.

In addition, Mike was fortunate to have many neighbors and friends who offered encouragement,

prayers, and positive thoughts throughout his illness. Many of Susan’s friends were also Mike’s friends, and they showered Mike with love and kindness.

Mike grew up in the Dudley Ave. and Ballantyne Brae neighborhoods of Utica, NY, where he attended  Our Lady of Lourdes Church and served as an altar boy. Mike was enrolled in Blessed Sacrament Elementary School and was given the nickname “Mouse” because he was the shortest one in his class.  By the time Mike graduated from Notre Dame High School, he had become one of the tallest in his class and was the editor of the school newspaper.  

While in high school, Mike drove a delivery truck for the family business, Lincoln Laundry, which was located on Lincoln Ave. in West Utica. One of Mike’s younger brothers, Patrick, holds special memories of riding along with his big brother Mike on the laundry route.

“One of my fondest memories of my brother Mike,” Patrick said, “was when I rode shotgun in the Lincoln Laundry truck with Mike delivering laundry and dry cleaning on two different routes after school. Twice a week we would drive to Hamilton, NY, dropping off clean laundry at the frat houses and the Lincoln Laundry store. Along the way we stopped at the Clinton Wash-n-Shop to drop off clean laundry and visit with cousins. On the other two days of the week, we drove to Speculator, NY, stopping at several taverns and small businesses, delivering and picking up laundry. Mike knew where all the good kitchens were to stop and eat. Everybody knew Mike and enjoyed Mike’s company. The best stop was for a Big Cheeseburger at Nancy’s Hinckley Hotel. What good times we had together. It was tons of fun. I will greatly miss Mike.”

After graduating from Notre Dame High School in 1964, Mike went on to attend St. John Fisher College in Rochester, NY, until he was drafted into the Marine Corps. Mike served in Vietnam in 1967 and 1968.  Mike carried his memories of Vietnam with him for the rest of his life. Perhaps these memories could be described as haunting, cruel, and complex. Mike did not share a lot about his experience in Vietnam—not even with his father who had served in the U.S. Navy during World War II—but Mike was deeply affected by what he had been called upon to do, and, as time passed, he became more introspective and reserved.

Upon being honorably discharged from the Marines, Mike settled down in Rochester, NY, to return to school on the GI Bill and to be close to the girl he had fallen in love with, his soon-to-be wife, Susan. Mike and Sue were married on February 12, 1970, at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Utica, New York.  For the wedding ceremony Mike sported tails, a top hat, and a Lincolnesque beard. He was truly tall, dark, and handsome. (Dashing, too!) On February 12, 2020, Mike and Susan celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary, a milestone.

In the fall of 1976 Mike and Susan purchased their first and only home, a handyman’s special in the village of Fairport, NY. Out of necessity Mike honed his carpentry skills and learned a lot about basic plumbing and electricity and the joys of home maintenance. He also learned how to select just the right expletive for each unexpected expense, each hammered thumb, and each session of wallpaper removal.. Mike needed help from many talented friends throughout the process of turning the house into a home, and he was more than grateful for the help he received.  

Over the years Mike worked at several jobs, including printer’s apprentice at Robert Hart Printing, shipping clerk at Ross Equipment Company, and carpenter at Shepherd Showcase. Mike’s favorite job was being a tour guide at the Eastman House. While Mike held that position, many people on the tours assumed that Mike was a teacher because of his wealth of knowledge about local history.

In fact, Mike was quite the history buff. He got a kick out of wearing a tee shirt that stated “I read. That’s what I do. I know things.” Those words summed it up quite well. Mike preferred reading non-fiction, historical fiction, and biographies. When it came to history, current events, or politics, Mike had a reputation among his friends for being Google personified before Google existed. If Jeopardy was your game, Mike was your man. Although Mike could go on at some length about his favorite topics, he also enjoyed listening to others, hearing opinions, engaging in discussions, and being asked how he felt about things. He especially enjoyed “Conversations in American Politics,” an engaging class led by Jim Fleming at OASIS.

Mike’s other interests included following his favorite college teams (especially Syracuse) and March Madness. Mike also followed professional football and baseball—always keeping his eye on the Bills and the Yankees. In addition, Mike enjoyed planning and tending his vegetable garden and cooking (especially bean soup, lamb shanks, Spanish rice, and the inevitable baked oyster casserole for special holidays.) He also played a mean game of bridge in partnership with Madeline’s husband Bill against “the girls,” Madeline and Susan, winning practically every game thanks to using their unconventional, creative bidding strategies.

Mike looked forward to short trips that he and Susan would take with Sue’s sister, Madeline, and her husband Bill. Together they visited Corning, Alexandria Bay, Montreal, and Ottawa.

One of Mike’s secret talents was putting outfits together. He could put on the right jacket and shirt and tie and look like a million bucks.

Occasionally Mike would enjoy showing off his keen wit and sense of humor, and memories of those times will remain special in the hearts of his family and friends.   

It must also be noted that Mike was a patient, kind, and loving master to the six dogs who graced his life: Max, Bruno, Smokey, Teddy, Duffy, and Freddy. These loyal and loving companions kept Mike company on some dark days during his illness.

Mike understood the concepts of Democracy, duty, respect, and patriotism. He could see the good in others. He cared about social justice and the common good. He could get by with very little. Mike was  proud to be a member of the Costello clan. He felt privileged to be a Marine. He was pleased to be just a regular guy. His wife Susan loved him heart and soul, and he returned her love.

Because of Covid restrictions, services will be private and will be held at the convenience of the family. Interment will be at White Haven Memorial Park in Pittsford, NY.

Those wishing to make a donation in Mike’s memory are asked to consider the Perinton Food Shelf or

Perinton Volunteer Ambulance.

            Perinton Food Shelf, INC.                        Perinton Volunteer Ambulance

            1000 Turk Hill Road  Building 8                                1400 Turk Hill Road  

            Fairport, NY 14450                                                     Fairport, NY  14450