The time has come to say goodbye to a woman whose personality was far bigger than any few paragraphs could ever express. In her 28 years, Alisha proved to have a stunning capacity for unapologetically being exactly who she was. She had the brilliance to graduate with a 4.0 GPA and the silliness to color in a book of artistic renderings of swear words. Her swagger was unparalleled, her laughter most likely due to some mishap on your part. It’s impossible to forget her confidence, lack of filter, fierce love for her family, horrifying morning breath, and fighting spirit.
Alisha was raised in Fairport, class of 2010, where she dabbled in photography, track, and squeaking on the violin. Her family gained and lost family members over the years, but there were a few constants. Alisha walked when she was 9 months old because she had to keep up with her big brother, Michael. She never stopped looking up to him or loving what he loved (go Raiders!). Amanda could be counted on to be the voice of reason or a partner in crime depending on the day. As siblings less than 2 years apart, they shared many secrets and the love of reading, playing Barbie dolls, and computer games. As the baby, Angela learned everything she needed to know about being tough and smart from her big sister. The adoration went both ways.
Grandma and Grandpa (Ed and Betsy Stanek) were always available for a concert, doctor’s appointment, or celebration dinner. Alisha enjoyed cooking dinner for them and going out for ice cream afterwards. Uncle Spoon (Ed Stanek), Aunt Spork (Lori Stanek) and cousin Katie were always there for celebrations and life events. Mom (Sue Stanek) was amazed by and enthralled with the woman that Alisha was, and so grateful to call her friend. They enjoyed walking Bentley, doing their nails, and deliberating life, love, and adulting. As her family, there is so much we want you all to know about Alisha.
From a young age, Alisha showcased her quirky sense of humor. She brought out her best material when it was bath time, and every day she would ask, “Isn’t the water supposed to be outside the boat? Because it’s IN the boat!” She defied meteorologists everywhere and claimed that the weather came from Texas. She couldn’t be trusted to chew gum and successfully make it up the stairs at the same time. She once slammed her middle finger in the car door and was delighted to show everyone her injury by making sure they knew which finger it was. She was endowed with a bold sense of adventure; she began with jumping over and off various objects (hello broken arm and severely sprained ankle) and grew into martial arts, pole dancing, and motorcycle riding. She had spunk, tenacity, and the world in the palm of her hand.
Working from the time she was 16, Alisha held many positions as a cook. She loved the creativity and was frequently asked to make things for family and friends. She may even have impressed a boy or two that way. When she went back to school at Monroe Community College, she found a great job making computer parts by day and going to class at night. After her graduation in December 2019, Alisha began working for an architectural firm as their administrative assistant. She loved being part of their team.
Alisha was designing an auspicious future and was fighting tooth and nail to bring it to fruition. Her academic achievements secured her substantial scholarships at the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) where she was accepted to start in the fall semester. When she spoke of her future plans as a financial advisor, you could see the light of determined greatness gleaming in her eyes.
Of course, Alisha’s plans were never complete without a healthy dose of two-wheel therapy. Anyone who knew Alisha could attest that her passion for riding was second to none. Any day that brought a hint of sunshine found Alisha meeting up with friends and escaping to her two-wheeled happy place. It was through riding that Alisha found the strength and stability to not simply tackle the obstacles in front of her but give them a solid roundhouse kick to the face. Riding may have caused her death, but it was her reason to live.
Alisha’s family wishes to share what is perhaps the greatest piece of philosophy Alisha ever gave them: “Love is like a fart; if you have to force it, it’s probably shit” (Stephen K. Amos). If you would like to support the family, consider sharing your favorite memories of Alisha – the funny ones are especially encouraged. In lieu of flowers or donations please grab a beer, say something vulgar, and cheers to the woman that was authentic, goofy and fearless to the very end.
Comments
22 responses to “Holahan, (Mary) Alisha”
Beautifully written, in memory of a beautiful spirit. May her spirit live on in everyone who knew her and loved her. And even though I never had an opportunity to meet Alisha, I feel her loss through you, Sue. May her memory be a blessing.
Just reading this message of love and authenticity inspires me to be a little less cautious and a lot more free to laugh. Beautifully written. May she visit often and stay in your hearts for ever.
I remember when you slammed your middle finger, you showed EVERYONE! I will forever cherish the Good Old Days with bonfires, swimming, sleepovers, babysitting shennanigans, silly string, jumping off of things, playing Hide and Seek, Ghost in the Graveyard… I wish you an eternity filled with nothing less than perfect riding days. I will remember you with every curse word that leaves my mouth, and with every motorcycle that rides by. Ride Free ?
Alisha you were an amazing women! We had the best conversations while I cut her hair. Unapologetic, strong, with a big heart. Sue my heart goes out to you and your family. RIP Alisha you will be missed ❤
Profoundly beautiful and heart-felt memory of a remarkable person written with both grace and humor. Sue, my heart goes out to you and your family. I will happily toast her memory with my next beer!
Alisha, although your time with Pathfinder E/A was short, you had brought a breath of fresh air to all you had interacted with. Being a FHS graduate from many years past, I felt a commonality with you when you would share your past life experiences.
You will be sadly missed, but never forgotten!
I worked with Alisha at The Woodcliff when I was a server. I remember a few key things. One, how happy and relieved I was when I knew she was working, because she was an amazing chef and could always hold her own and get orders out quickly all while joking. Two, how badass she always seemed, like way way way cooler than me and I loved it. Three, how amazingly kind and caring she was to me and my husband during some really difficult times in our life. She would always merry kindness with humor and it always made me feel better. We were so sad to hear about her passing and wish her family peace and healing.
i will never forget the day i really met alisha. it was my brothers birthday party and she came with a previous boyfriend who was always a close family friend. reading “she was unapologetically her” has never been more true. we bonded over brews and queef‘s, which yes is air coming from your vagina. from that day forward i knew she was one of a kind, and from that day we bonded from then until now. we ended that night with drinks at doctors inn where we met every friday night for fireball friday. she will always be my beth, i lost a part of me the day she died . her energy and spirit will never be matched. i will love you forever and always. rest in paradise my angel, you will never be forgotten.
Sad news. Condolences to Mike, Sue and the rest of the family.
Alisha was an amazing friend and person who had such a bright and successful future ahead of her! We met through mutual friends and quickly bonded. Sitting on her apartment porch drinking some beers will always be my favorite memories with her. She even bought a plant named Alan to hang on her porch! She was so easy to get along with and I’m so thankful for the time we had to build a friendship. May she Rest In Peace and my thoughts and prayers go out to her family.
What an extraordinary woman ! A true explorer who lived life to the fullest every single day . I never met your daughter, Sue, but I would have loved her right off the bat just like everyone who did get the chance to have her in their lives . I know she will be sorely missed . I’m just happy she leaves behind so many great messages to the world. Like the song…. she did it “My Way”. Rest In Peace Alisha and peace to those who knew her!!
I didn’t know Alisha very well but she briefly dated a friend/roommate of mine a few years ago. The first time she came over she had went upstairs to use the bathroom, a few minutes later we heard a loud tumbling noise followed by complete silence…As we ran over to the stairs we saw Alisha laying on the ground with the contents of her purse completely scattered all around her, she was laughing, still holding her beer and didn’t spill a drop!! From that point on I called her yard-sale whenever she came over! We played a lot video games and she always kept up with us boys. She was always a joy to be around!
Rest In Peace
While I didn’t know her personally, this beautiful tribute makes me feel as though I did. Some people are just too special to be stuck here on this crusty old planet; she is your shooting star, and she now resides safely in your heart where nothing can ever hurt her again.
At this stage of my life I always go through the obits to see who has passed. Alishas name hit me right between the eyes. From all the good thoughts and wishes from the comments regarding her passing, I can tell she would have been a glorious addition to my family, and who could have matched all the devilment that we created way back then.
To Alisha’s Family, I just met Alisha when she came to work at Pathfinder. She was a bright light and she instantly became a member of the team. She was a delight to work with, to spend time with and hear about her vision for the future. No doubt that she would have accomplished it all. And, she was a kick to be around. My deepest condolences to all of you. In the Jewish faith we say “may her memory be for a blessing.” May good memories help sustain you during the time ahead.
I grew up with Alisha as I was very close with the whole family. I remember Alisha crashing our sleepovers, photoshoots, and always keeping us in check by reminding us that we were dorks but always having our backs. For many years, she was almost like an older sister in my life. Some of my favorite memories with her involve the family dinners and how much we would laugh. One night, Alisha spit applesauce across the table but I managed to take cover just in time—Amanda wasn’t so lucky as it hit her right in the face. At another dinner, we decided to run out into the front yard to go down the driveway and Alisha pressed against the window to yell out to us, but the screen caved and she actually fell out the window…she was always full of grace.
She was the most badass woman with a foul mouth and tender heart. I will miss her forever. Wishing her whole family peace, comfort, healing, and all my love.
I am honored that you shared such a beautiful, heartfelt, and artistic remembrance of your beloved Alisha. Your love for her and her love for you and life is evident. I believe that she is smiling down upon you with her strength; hoping that your pain and heartache may soon be replaced with happy memories and the impact she had in her young life. XOXOX
Remembering such a sweet girl who beamed of sunshine. You will be remembered and missed. Loving thoughts and heart.
Remembering such a sweet girl who beamed of sunshine. You will be remembered and missed. Loving thoughts and heart.
It feels like just yesterday we were posted up on your bed sipping wine and jamming out together. It also feels like just yesterday I found all of the evidence of your secret hot fries party in the back seat of my car. Thank you for the best couple years of my life. No words will ever express how much I miss you, that contagious smile of yours, and dancing my nights away with you. I’ve been incredibly lucky to be able to call you my best friend. Selfishly, I’d give anything for even just a little more time with you. You’re in my heart and mind every day, as shrimp usually are. Sending all of my love to you and your family.
I finally found this and finally read it. After reading that exquisite eulogy, I am grieving that I never met her. I will never forget Love is like a fart… and wish I’d thought of it. All the tributes in comments were more like celebrations. You were incredibly lucky to have her in your lives. I can only repeat, “May her memory for you be a blessing.” Ride happy, Alisha!
One thing I absolutely love about you is that you’re down to do anything, anytime. Meeting you had been long overdue but when I finally did I bonded with you immediately. And yeah dude I thought you were SO cool. I’m so grateful for every moment I have with you to remember, but left feeling vacant without you. We had this whole year planned out with fun shit before you went back to school, concerts, and porch nights, emo nights, and Breaking Benjamin of course. More nights dancing to American Pie, drinks, laughs, your smile and to top it off; a drunk Alisha trying to escape out of every door of my car. I just kept circling the car folding you back in and you kept being impressed by how fast I caught you. You have my whole heart dude and I’m so glad for every spontaneous action we took. I will cherish everything. Until our next porch night, my guy.