Lisa Michele Ristau
October 3, 1973 – January 18, 2025
You are reading about me in the obituaries, which means I have lost my fight against metastatic breast cancer. Metastatic breast cancer is when the cancer spreads beyond the breast to another part of the body such as the bones, lungs, liver or brain. Please check your breasts and be aware of any changes that you may see or feel.
I have left behind my loving and much loved husband, Derek and my three amazing, smart, funny and fantastic children, Ella, Tatum and Boden. I also leave the best dad ever, John Heffern, my funny and wonderful (in his own way), brother Todd Heffern, my sister-in-law Mary Theresa Heffern, and my two sweet nephews, Patrick and Andrew. I was very fortunate to have had very supportive in-laws, Ed and Jeanne Ristau and my very dear brother and sister in law, Matt and Gloria Ristau. There are three special women that I must mention, whom without their love and support, I would have lost my mind, Lauren Paulson, Shelly Harbert and Lisa Ward. Thank you to all of my friends and family that helped me and our family throughout this journey, I am forever grateful. At this time, you must pull all of your love and support together to help Derek and the kids get through this difficult time. Please check in on them for me and make sure that they are doing ok. If you are able to miss people where I am now, I know I am missing each and every person that has touched my life.
Please write your favorite memory about me in the journal that I left Derek. That way the kids have those memories to read when they are missing me. When you smell the fresh air and see the wind blowing the trees, think of me and smile. I loved my family deeply and with all I had, it just wasn’t enough to beat cancer. Life is too short to waste on petty stuff, love, live and savor those small moments, they truly are the things that matter The family met so many wonderful people throughout this journey, far too many to list. We would like to specifically thank the staff and volunteers from Pluta Cancer Center in Rochester, NY, the UR Medicine Finger Lakes/Ontario County Hospice team in Geneva, NY and the Lighthill Home in Canandaigua, NY for their end of life care. We would not have made it through these difficult times without their unwavering support, expertise and compassion.
In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to one of these amazing organizations that all touched Lisa throughout her incredible fight. lighthillhome.org; metavivor.org; www.urmc.rochester.edu/home-care/hospice-care/donations
Calling Hours Friday January 31, 2025 3-7PM at the Richard H. Keenan Funeral Home (Village Location) 41 South Main Street, Fairport. Funeral Service Saturday February 1, 2025 2PM at Fairport United Methodist Church 31 West Church Street, Fairport.
Comments
30 responses to “Ristau, Lisa Michele”
To Dereck and the children, I want to extend my deepest sympathy. You had one of the most wonderful woman in your life that I have ever met!!! She possessed every adjective I can think of , of being very special. Remember that she is gone physically but she is always there with you spiritually. She definitely is in haven!!!
My condolences and love to all of you.
Patricia Gianforti
To Tate and Family, I hope you all can find peace and happiness even when everything feels heavy. RIP <3
Sending Derek and the kids so much love and Lisa thank you for letting us love you and know you and fir always being a beakon of light and love and unending strength.
Derek, Ella, Tatum and Biden~
No doubt your hearts are heavy because you loved as hard as she loved you. May peace and comfort be yours today and the days ahead. It is a journey, for sure, so allow the emotions come and go and know that she is never far away.
God’s peace and love,
Larry and Kiersten Ryndak
To All of you.. I met Lisa at Crestmanor. She always had a smile on her face that would light up the room. To Derick She talked often about you being such a great father and husband. To the children .. the love your mother for each of You . She often talked and expressed about how wonderful you are and was blessed with blessing of 3. As you go thru your lifel APjoways remember the love she had for you all. She was a very special lady .. she’s with the angels now and entering eternal peace. She will be with you always . May God bless all of you .. Lisa … Love you my friend
Lisa was such a sweet person. I will never forget Lisa and Todd as their babysitter. Lisa would always come over (from 3 years up), come to the side door (as we were neighbors) and say, “Is Carrie here? Do you have any cookies?) with that sweet little voice, and heart that made you melt. Marie always knew where to find her as she snuck out the door. Cherished memories. To the Family and Friends she leaves behind, May God give you Strength and May your own special Memories of Lisa’s love, fight and devotion carry you through. God Bless.
Dear Ella, Tate, Bo and Derek,
I will always remember our camping weekends with a smile. We made some wonderful memories. Your Mom was a wonderful soul who loved life and nature and all of you with her whole heart. She will be dearly missed. My prayers are with all of you during this difficult time.
Fondly,
Laurie Warnett
I have very fond memories of my teenage years with Lisa! Our mothers worked together and that eventually led us to working together for the summer. I remember after my first or second date with my now husband, going into to work and telling Lisa all about how I was going to marry that guy! (We’ve now been married 28 years). Lisa reminded me of that story the last time I saw her which was far too long ago. Lisa was always so kind and treated me like a true friend, even though she was slightly older and much cooler than I could have dreamed to be! She was a true role model to me and I looked up to her. I’m am so deeply sorry to all who knew her and had to privilege to love her. My heart truly hurts!
I met Lisa when I started taking care of her dad John. He was still at home then. She said to me, when I first met you, I knew you were a kind woman, and I told her that was exactly what I thought of you. She was a sweet daughter to her dad and shared with me many memories of him. I immediately upon meeting her knew she was special. I am very grateful that I got to meet and know her. Prayers for her husband, children, family and friends. Lisa was a strong, loving, sweet lady.
Derek
This obituary is so her. So personal. She always took time to appreciate everyone around her. She knew how important the little things were. And that’s why we all love and respected her and your family.
I met Lisa when she… and Derek worked at Presby in Oil City Pa. I watched them fall in love and eventually marry… and have their 3 kids. Lisa’s family was her world. Everytime I spoke with her she talked so lovingly about them all. I know she tried so hard to live… to live for them. She sent me a text a few months ago telling me that her time was nearly over and how worried she was about her kids and Derek but knew Derek would be the great dad he always had been. However, she just wanted to be their mom….
I will miss Lisa forever and love her tenacity for life.
XO
Derek,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Lisa’s tribute was so beautifully written and her love for you all is felt. Thinking of you and your family.
Sending so much love and support to Derek, Ella, Tatum, and Boden. Lisa was a true warrior and she will be greatly missed. I am forever grateful to have known her.
So very sorry to hear of Lisa’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with Derek and the children during this difficult time
I met Lisa when I started working in the activity department at Crest Manor. When Pat, our director, first told Lisa about me, that I was a minister, Lisa said, “Oh no, I won’t be able to swear any more!” She quickly discovered that that was not the case!
After we had worked together, she shared her first impressions of me, and her assessment of how I was going to work out, which was NOT hopeful. Then she saw my skills grow, saw how well the residents responded to me, and came to know me as a supportive coworker and friend.
When I feel I am losing confidence, this is one of the key memories that gives me assurance and strength.
Thank you, Lisa. You will always be in my heart.
Comfort and peace to Derek, Ella, Tatum, and Boden, and to all who loved Lisa and who were better people for her friendship and love.
I do not know this beautiful woman but I am so very impressed by how she wrote this amazing tribute to her family. She was obviously a very loving and brave woman.
Prayers to her family.
Lisa’s word of the weekend, Whoopsy! Myself, wife Kiersten, Derek and all our kids went camping one weekend and we wish we did many more. The adults might have indulged a little bit in the evenings and all had whoopsy’s! Lisa was in her element camping, in nature with family and friends! She embraced life, love for her family and friends and was just a downright great human being. She was Derek’s true north! You will be missed girl and yes, we will get back to our bromance days Derek! Love, the Davis’
I met Lisa when she was a beautiful, bouncy little 4 year old. She and my Lisa, also 4 years old became fast friends. Lisa became another daughter to me. When we moved away from Oil City, the girls continued their friendship throughout the years. Marie and John would bring her to us and alternate years we would take my Lisa to Oil City. The girls bonded and maintained their friendship from the time they were 4 until Lisa left this worldly realm for a place of peace and no more pain.
To those she’s left behind remember her smile and infectious laughter. Take time to grieve, but always remember how much she loved you.
I will always remember my other daughter.
Todd you and Lisa will always be in my heart ❤️
I have never met someone so determined to never except defeat. It is truly a privilege to be able to call you both my friends D, and as always please know we are here in any capacity to help lead each day into another. We love you all
Derik, Jeanne and Ed,
We are so very sorry about your loss. Our prayers are with you for strength to weather these tough times.
Although many years have passed my thoughts would often linger on Lisa and her family.
May you find peace in your sorrow through God.
Derik, Jeanne and Ed,
We are so very sorry about your loss. Our prayers are with you for strength to weather these tough times.
Although I haven’t spoken to Lisa in many years, she has always been in my thoughts. She was a great friend to me when we were younger. She was always a sweet person with a big heart. My condolences to her family.
What an amazing obituary. I did not know Lisa but read this because I share the same last name. I normally would not post on a site for a person I did not know but that obituary made me cry, and I can tell she was an amazing person. Beautifully written! I am a Ristau in Warren PA, a distant relative of Edsel. Today I pray for this family and their loss.
Please help me with our family connection. I was raised on Kinzua Road with my sisters Sandy and Phyllis and brother Tim. Graduated from WHS in 1960. Thanks for your expression of sympathy concerning the loss of our daughter-in-law.
I met Lisa when Ella, Tatum and Bo were students at Brooks Hill School in Fairport. She always amazed me! She would come into the Main Office to pick up one of the kids and chat with me. Even when she wasn’t feeling well from treatments, she was painting walls in her home. When she couldn’t sleep, she was up and working on some project.
I am not surprised to see that she wrote her own obituary. That was Lisa. I’m so sorry for your loss Derek, Ella, Tatum, Bo, Ed and Jeanne.
Family and friends of Lisa:
When I saw the obituary in the Oil City Derrick it brought such sadness to know how she must have suffered and now gone way too young, leaving behind a young and loving family.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
My family and I met Lisa and her friend Lauren on what is now a bike trail along the Allegheny River south of Kennerdell. They were seniors in high school. We were out hiking in the late winter snow. I had our youngest , who was 1 year old at the time, in a back pack and our oldest, age 9, was tempting nature along a trib, slipped on the ice, and fell completely into the very cold water. Our hiking plans immediately changed and we headed for home. And then we came upon Lisa and Lauren in a jeep that quit working. So they went with us back to our house to get warmed up, regroup, then try to get the jeep started. We were not successful so back to our house and she got a hold of her dad, who came to get the girls, and away they went. I actually saw her one other time at Polk Center and we briefly talked about that day. Our family would spend a lot of quality time at the YMCA pool with the kids and saw the girl’s names on the records wall many times through the years. The last time I was at the facility, their names were still up there. I’m glad to read her and Lauren remained friends. I hope this story , that provides a brief glimpse of your mother at age 18 and ready to conquer the world, puts a smile on your faces. A memorable day that we always remembered. Rest in peace, Lisa.
I am so sorry to Derik and Lisa’s children for the loss of such a funny, brave, loving woman like Lisa. I met Lisa in the year 2000 when she took over for me as in the activity assistant at Crest Manor. Over the years, I would get together with her and Joan and Pat and have dinner and cocktails and always had a great time seeing her. She was always full of life and funnier than all get out and it was a joy every time we got together. Her journey through this battle with cancer was a courageous one. She never minced words or expected anything except the reality of what was going on, and for that, I’ve always looked up to her. She definitely leaves a hole in the lives of people who loved and cared for her.
I will miss all of our talks while watching hockey and drinking beers! Your family was a great host for the end of the year partirs on Bachman and Napieralski’s team.
Derek, Ella, Tate and Bo- words cannot express how devastated I was to hear of your mom’s passing. Whenever I would come over to babysit, your mom was amazingly welcoming and friendly, and our friendship made me feel at home. Please know that I will mourn her the rest of my life right along with you. If you need anything at all, please reach out right away. Love, Colleen