Wilkins, Sally D.

Memorial 

She’s under the black tarp in the garden, where she worked the soil to grow tomatoes. 

She’s in the wave that crashes against the shore of the Cape, the ocean water of her childhood spraying in the air.

She’s on the wind playing with the hair of the woman who played hockey while she refereed on the sidelines.

She’s on the tennis court.

She’s in the Physics class.

She’s licking the knife after it’s been in the peanut butter jar.

She’s bringing the garlic bread.

She is, continually, demanding the best out of us.

She is, endlessly, loved.

How blessed we are to have been alive at the same time that she was. And how thankful we are that her late life struggle with Alzheimer’s has come to a peaceful end.

Sally grew up in Belmont, MA with her parents, Harold and Marian Wilkins, and brother, Larry Wilkins. She graduated Cornell University in 1962 and moved to Rochester with her best friend and my great aunt, Ellen Hawver. She then graduated from the University of Rochester with a masters in Physics and went on to teach physics at Brighton High School. She also traveled the world playing field hockey for the US team, prior to there being a field hockey team in the Olympics. 

There has never been a time when I didn’t refer to Sally as Aunt Sally. She may not have been related by blood, but she was an integral member of our family. I think I was 9 years old when my feet grew bigger than hers. I remember being very excited about this. I used to think that the size of my feet would directly contribute to my athletic abilities, and I was sure if my feet kept getting bigger, then maybe someday I would catch up to Sally.

She was always “one of the kids” in the most competitive ways – it was so cool that she never held back on anyone. Even when my brother, Joey, and my cousin, Nathan, were little, she always expected us to be the best we could be. She wouldn’t hold back just because we were kids. When I invited her to play soccer with us at our homeschool league one year for “parent’s day,” she jumped at the chance to show us up. And show us up she did, even after she tore her ACL that day, and even though she made it clear that she thought soccer was an “inferior” sport.

Field hockey was definitely her sport of choice, and she traveled the world playing with the United States Hockey team. She then refereed for the Monroe County school district’s field hockey games well into her 60’s, even after getting surgery to help with her soccer injury. She loved playing and teaching tennis, and she loved swimming in the ocean water at her family’s cottage at Cape Cod every summer. She always said that fresh water felt wrong to her, and that the salt water of the ocean was where she felt at home. 

Sally took care of her best friend, my Aunt Ellen, when she developed Alzheimer’s, even when Ellen’s disease progressed to the point where she didn’t recognize Sally anymore. After Ellen’s death, Sally was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s herself. She immediately signed up to participate in clinical trials, hoping to help researchers find a cure for such a terrible disease. 

After 12 years of battling the disease, Sally passed away peacefully on May 19th, 2023. She is now at rest with Ellen Hawver, as well as her brother, Larry Wilkins (who also battled Alzheimer’s), and her parents, Harold and Marian. She is survived by her long time friends: Joellen Lubanski (Joseph), Mitchell Hawver, Jeffery Hawver; her nieces and nephews: Nathan Hawver (Rachel), Christa Dougherty (Kevin), Joey Lubanski, Anthony Wilkins (Kristin), Christopher Wilkins (Lisa), Laura Wilkins Krikorian; and her sister in law, Christine Wilkins. Instead of flowers, we ask that you donate to Alzheimer’s Foundation of America to support research for Alzheimer’s cure and treatment.