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Pickett, William (Bill)
William Lee Pickett, of Rochester, NY, a retired college administrator and pastoral planner, whose career included the first lay president of St. John Fisher College, died Friday, March 29 while in hospice care. He was eighty-three.
William Lee Pickett, Jr. was born in Kansas City, Mo., on January 28, 1941.
Bill had a life-long interest in education, formal and informal. He graduated from Rockhurst College in 1962; achieved his master’s degree in English Literature at Duke University in 1963; achieved his M.P.A in Policy Analysis at University of Missouri, Kansas City in 1972; completed his PhD in Higher Education at University of Denver in 1977; and completed a M.A.T.S. in Theology from Saint Bernard’s School of Theology and Ministry in 2008. The value of education is a theme that ran through Bill’s life, reflected across Pickett generations and how he sought to learn new things, meet new people, and discuss new ideas.
Bill spent the first part of his career with increasing roles and responsibilities with Catholic colleges in university relations and development: Rockhurst University, Regis College, University of Detroit Mercy, University of San Diego, and St. John Fisher College, where he became the first lay president in 1986. After retiring from St. John Fisher in 1996, Bill spent four weeks in Gethsemani, a Trappist monastery in Kentucky, where he lived and worked as a Trappist. The experience guided him to his next career, and, to the family’s ongoing benefit, the monastery’s secret recipe for bourbon fudge. From 1997 to 2006, he was the Director of Pastoral Planning for the Diocese of Rochester, underlining the importance of both faith and practice to him. He published a book, A Concise Guide to Pastoral Planning in 2007, based on his experience and observations.
Bill was the son of William Lee Pickett (d 1994) and Ruth Marie Pickett (d 2014). Bill is survived by his beloved wife, Marilyn Seitz-Pickett; four of his siblings, their spouses, and children: Anola, Terry, Mary Pickett Vincent, Tom; seven children and their spouses and children: Sean, Megan, Galen, Amy, Liam, Brendan, and Erin Pickett Kessler; stepchild Neil Dengler and his spouse and children; 20 grandchildren; and numerous cousins, second cousins, and friends. Bill was predeceased by his baby sister, Louisa “Dutch” Van Horne and three brothers-in-law: Peter Doyle, Robert Vincent, and Williard “Van” Van Horne. Bill and Marilyn were married in 2000, and shared their home with numerous pets, including their beloved Shichon, Sr. Mary Helen Lebowski, RSM, aka “Daisy”.
Bill pursued a wide range of interests and passions. He had a deep love of photography, spending decades perfecting his craft: his house and the houses of his family and friends showcased his finest works. His love of art and crafting extended to weaving and textiles, spending hours on a full-sized standing loom, making carpets.
He was passionate about social justice, defending marginalized and forgotten people through many organizations: Rural & Migrant Ministry, RAIHN, Street Business School, Homeless Outreach Initiative, African Services Family Foundation, and two terms on the board of the Urban League of Rochester. Bill was an active member of St. Mary’s RC Church and St. Catherine, where he worked in the social justice ministry and as a lector.
In his retirement, Bill and his wife Marilyn traveled extensively across the US and Europe, which he captured in his blogs and photographs. Locally, Bill and Marilyn shared a love of hiking and biking along the many trails of Rochester and other environs. Bill also played a mean game of Pickleball, often outlasting (and beating) players decades younger than him.
The importance of family was a through-line in Bill’s life, visiting children, siblings, and cousins multiple times a year, often driving thousands of miles to attend a grandchild’s graduation, film a child’s milestone event or help a sibling or cousin in need. Bill maintained a blog and photo site that contains thousands of photos and hundreds of hours of video capturing his love, pride, and sheer joy at the family he built and was a part of. When anyone needed advice, encouragement or support, Bill would be there for them. Bill’s passion to understand his own heritage also led to a decades-spanning work in genealogy, focused on the origins of his family, which resulted in his book, Four American Families, published in 2022, which detailed the history of the Pickett, Muir, Platt, and Campbell families.
Bill loved his Royals and the Chiefs, and he was fortunate enough to see the Chiefs win the Super Bowl (again!) earlier this year.
Bill can best be described by the quote he uncovered from his great grandfather, Judge James Sanford Pickett, in his research for Four Families:
[he] had so lived his heart so abounding in love and good deeds, his hands always finding some kind and beneficial act to do, his long life always being so closely in keeping with the good and noble, that the good Lord will not deal harshly with him, and who had assurance that all was well with him, and that his future was one of peace and happiness.
Calling Hours Friday April 19, 2024 4-7 PM at the Richard H. Keenan Funeral Home (Egypt Location) 7501 Pittsford Palmyra Road, Fairport. Funeral Mass Saturday April 20, 2024 10AM at St. Catherine of Siena Church 26 Mendon Ionia Rd, Mendon.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Bill’s honor to the Shepherd Home, where he spent his last four weeks. The Shepherd Home staff were incredibly kind and thoughtful regarding care of Bill and his family, and they gave him love and dignity throughout his stay https://www.shepherdhome.org/memorial-donation/
Comments
37 responses to “Pickett, William (Bill)”
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Dad passed peacefully with me and my sister Erin Pickett Kessler by his side. We never stopped loving him and caring for him. I would also like to recognize Derek Kessler for his loving commitment to our dad and the countless hours of support and love. He loved you as a son.
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I love you Amy. Dad is with us forever and always.
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Dad was the best father, father-in-law, friend, partner in crime and most of all Grandy. We love you forever- I’m so grateful that Brynne and Grady were blessed to win the grandfather lottery. Be free and dance with the angels ♥️.
Love-
Erin, Derek Brynne and Grady-
Erin, I love you. Dad lives in our hearts and will forever.
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I love you, Dad. Thank you for showing all of us how to live meaningful lives, and for always letting us know how much we were loved. Harry and Bronwen loved you so very much, and felt your love every day of their lives. .
M-
Meg Love you. Dad has blessed us with a lasting love.
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Throughout this process there has been so many friends of Dad’s reach out to the family wishing prayers and support. I would say to everyone that knew my dad we are the lucky ones we are blessed with a unique memory of Dads humility, charity, and empathy. Dad’s faith in Christ was the foundation that he built his life on. His genuine way of sharing his love/faith made many believe it to be ordinary and everyday. He was quite the opposite Dad was extraordinary and once in a lifetime. I miss my Dad he was my hero.
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Dad – a text box cannot contain your accomplishments, love, friendship, humor and wisdom. You kept us grounded in what was important, how to overcome challenges, and how to value family. There are so many of us, and only one of you, and yet you found the time to be with each of us in meaningful ways that was deep and focused. We will miss your delight in good food, good drink, and good conversations. We miss your laugh and your love, although we will feel and see both everyday in each of us. And in AFC championship games.
To the great people of Shepherd Home – THANK YOU for providing a warm, safe, quiet place for his final weeks. It was a loving environment that gave Dad peace, and the staff were incredibly kind with him and all of us. THANK YOU Erin and Amy for shouldering the last nine months as the local siblings and for the hours of loving care you gave Dad every day, morning and evening, while he was at Shepherd Home. Both of you were an extension of the rest of us for Dad, and there were a million things you did that none of us siblings outside of Rochester were able to do. Bless you.
Love, Sean, Julie and Sam
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When I read Mr. Pickett’s obituary, I was in awe. Such an impressive and beautiful life he led. It was no surprise to see the way his children rallied around each other and cared for him in this most challenging time. The constant traveling, appointments, zoom calls, and sleepless nights they endured to navigate through this journey was something to witness. Although saddened by his passing, we are all beyond blessed that seven parts of him remain here on earth with us. Seven reminders of such a wonderful man. Seven children to continue his legacy of faith, love, and dedication to family. May God bless the Pickett children and their families.
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Dad was also an active member of Fortunate Families, an organization of Catholic parents of LGBTQ children that actively loved and supported all families. His love was as unconditional as it was readily expressed, and felt.
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Bill, your kindness and love will live on in the legacy of family and friends whom you tended to with such generosity and grace. It has been my pleasure to be connected to your family by my dearest lifelong friendship with Erin. The care and love you were surrounded by from Erin, Amy, Derek and the entirety of your clan is a testament to a life well lived.
With Love -
I feel beyond fortunate to have shared many walks and conversations with Bill. A few years ago, I asked him for a big favor – to drive with me to my childhood home outside Rochester and take photos of of the places and scenes that meant the most to me. His generosity in not only taking the photos but graciously hearing the stories behind them filled this adventure with meaning and depth. His ability to bring his heart and head to every interaction always gave me something important to ponder. What came across again and again was his penetrating love for his family, and for the marginalized. Thankfully, Bll is not the kind of person who’s easy to forget. Sending gratutude and condolences to Marilyn, Bill’s children, grandchildren and extended family.
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How true ring the classic wedding vows for Bill and my sister, Marilyn: “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.” Together they had a very rich life measured not by material things but in the way they fulfilled each others’ lives. In Bill’s final year I witnessed, primarily from afar, the untiring love and devotion that Marilyn devoted to provifding him the best quality of life possible despite an increasingly difficult situation. I was a beneficiary of Bill’s generosity, a witness to his love for his extended and extensive family, and an admirer of his tolerance even in sometimes intolerable situations. I was fortunate to be able to say my last good-bye days before his passing and to plant a kiss on his forehead and to tell him that I loved him. I only wish I had lived close enough to Bill to get to better know better his multi-dimensional self. He will be greatly missed.
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I first met Bill when he attended a workshop I was leading. Many walks and coffees since. I especially appreciated his quick wisdom when I asked his advice about taking on an Adjunct Faculty position. In 10 minutes describing in grim detail what that involved, he convinced me that I did not want to do that! But I especially appreciated several field trips with him when I requested his coaching in photography. I was awed by his knowledge and devotion to the art! And by his patience with my fumbling attempts to learn.
I’ll miss our occasional, rich conversations! Love to Marilyn from Sue and myself. -
When I first came to St. John Fisher College in 1994, I worked in Mr. Pickett’s office in a work study program. Sadly, my father died in a car accident that first semester I was in college. Mr. Pickett and his administration assistant, Judy were so very kind and compassionate. I will be forever grateful for Mr. Pickett’s faith in me, when I had none in myself. My favorite memory is one day walking into the office to work for him and he was listening to the song “Bouncing” by Phish and singing along.. He was such a kind soul and may he rest peacefully. I’m glad to have had the honor to know him.
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This is such a beautiful story of my Dad. I can see that scene in his office. Thank you for sharing
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Sending loving thoughts to Marilyn and all who are feeling a sense of loss from Bill’s Transition. May your beautiful memories of Bill comfort you through your grief.
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We we felt very fortunate to share the same grandchildren with such a wonderful man. We will miss him cheering on Grady.this baseball season. We spent many hours with Bill supporting Brynne too. He is very special to us. Sue and Bob Kessler
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Oh, the wonderful cousin memories we will hold forever! We were among the fortunate recipients of Bill’s many travels, and with Marilyn by his side we cousins explored curiosities on the prairie and the splendors of New York. We talked and visited about everything from Pickett-Sciolaro childhood episodes to photography to religion. Bill filled our hearts with love and humor and happiness, and he will always be missed.
Cousins Andy and Lois -
Dear Marilyn and family,
It was an honor and pleasure to be counted as Bill’s friend. I’ll never forget the gorgeous photos he took at my daughter’s Wedding and his offer to share a favorite one for me to frame. He was so kind and generous.
Marilyn, you were his rock all throughout the months of his battle with this illness and you were right by his side when he passed away. You were a magical couple and loved each other so much. It showed from the first time you introduced me to Bill and your words during the recent conversations we shared.
Prayers for all,
Barbara Crowley -
Though I knew bill for a handful of years – through Rob and Marilyn – I came to know him as you all have described him. In addition, I found him to be genuinely interested in you and what you were doing, your thoughts on “things”, and how easily a conversation could flow. As an example, he and Marilyn visited me when I was working at Mt. Cuba Center as they wended their way north to home. Bill was so inquisitive about the Center and the fact that it was devoted to native plants and what I was doing there and how the Center filled an interesting niche in the gardening world – time flew! He took a photo of Marilyn and me on the paths of MCC that I saw proudly displayed in the living room of their house recently. Truly a gentleman’s gentleman. My sincere condolences on your loss Marilyn (and the many extended families). Your faith will be your pillar of strength.
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I met Bill in 1979 when he moved to San Diego and I became good friends with Meg and Sean. I was amazed that not only did he take great pride in each of his kids and their various interests, he made it a point to get to know their friends as well. He counseled me prior to getting married and answered all my questions with love and support, something I’ll never forget. I’ll miss his blog, newsletters and emails but mostly I’ll miss knowing he was there if I needed him. He will always have a place in my heart. Sending my love to the whole family. May his memory be a blessing. Love, Annabelle
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I was so lucky to have Bill as my father-in-law and then a friend for so many years. He was unfailingly kind and loving and I will miss him, his intellectual curiousity shaped by his strong sense of social justice, and his generous spirit. Sending love to you all as you gather to remember his good life.
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Bill was good friend and a great supporter of St Catherines. Bill read the words of God in Jesus Christ in rotation in the “Liturgy of the word” until he was no longer able. He helped with seasonal decorations. He loved his Basilian priests and scholastic friends. He took beautiful delightful Photographs. I shall miss him.
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Bill and I were friends for almost 30 years. We were the best of friends. In 2017, Bill came back from a funeral he had attended and as we were walking, catching up on each other’s lives, he asked the question, “I wonder what they will say about me at my funeral?” I took that as more than a rhetorical question but as a request, so I wrote his eulogy back then and gave it to him. I share it here as a testimony to a great man (Bill would bristle at me characterizing him as a great man, that’s how humble he was):
I have known Bill for well over 20 years. What stands out most in my memory was that Bill was a consistent spiritual seeker. Whether it was by way of spiritual direction, men’s spirituality groups, Ignatian spiritual practices, or living his faith through outreach to the homeless and poor, Bill’s entire life was evidence of a spiritual journey. What struck me most was Bill working toward his master’s in theology degree at St. Bernard’s AFTER he retired. He didn’t do this for his job or for recognition, just for his own personal spiritual enrichment. Despite finding some Catholic teachings and practices contrary to his own understanding of God, Jesus, and/or scripture, Bill was a faithful Catholic to the end. (And the end came on Good Friday, the day we commemorate the passing of our Lord.)
If you wanted a good laugh, you would have accompanied Bill and I as we walked and talked about movies we had seen or books we had read. Given our advancing years we were constantly forgetting titles and characters but we would marshal on nevertheless. Quite comical. Do you remember that movie, oh what was its name? You know the one with that character, oh I can’t remember. You know directed by, you know the one who directed . . .and on it went.
A doctorate and three master’s degrees are certainly evidence of Bill’s intellect. For those who know him well, the height and width and breath of his intellectual pursuits were truly impressive. There were few subjects about which Bill was not conversant, but he never lauded this over anyone. Above all, Bill was a humble, holy man. Wherever Bill found himself planted, he always rose to the pinnacle of leadership positions because people could not help but recognize the quality person that was Bill.
If you, like me, were fortunate to have Bill as a friend, you were most fortunate indeed. As was true in so many other areas of his life, Bill was a steady and consistent friend, one who was there in the good times and the bad.
If you got to know Bill, he would tell you that he avoided conflict. I would tell you, blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called children of God. Bill was one of God’s special children.
Physically, Bill was quite a specimen, certainly put me to shame. 13 years older than me, Bill would fly around the racquetball court, or bicycle way ahead of me, or hike much faster and further than I was capable of. He chose to lose weight before his wedding to Marilyn and kept that weight off ever thereafter.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that the measure of the success of someone’s life was this: To live well, to laugh often, to love much, to gain the respect of intelligent people, to win the love of little children. To fill one’s niche and accomplish one’s task, to leave the world better than one finds it whether by an improved flower, a perfect poem or another life ennobled. To never lack appreciation of earth’s beauty or fail to express it, to always look for the best in others, to give the best one has. To make one’s life an inspiration and one’s memory a benediction. This is success.”
By this measure, and any other measure you care to use, certainly Bill’s life has been a success. The world is a little less bright today, without his presence. I loved him dearly; I will miss him immensely.-
This is so beautiful thank you.
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These heartwarming tributes and life review are helping us celebrate with you, a life well lived. We fondly remember Bill’s generative spirit- giving back to family generations near and far. Bill and Marilyn shared their diverse and numerous friendships and faith journey with so many, enriching and encouraging our growth as well. Their many volunteer roles included Bead For Life , and for many years we
shared in their support of African women and families to become entrepreneurs.. one of the many ways they showed so many of us how to have an impact . We are deeply grateful for Bill’s faithful life and example. -
I am so grateful and fortunate to have had such a loving and supportive father-in-law and present Grandy for our children in Bill. He was always there for our family through both good and challenging times. Bill was a fountain of knowledge, advice, kindness, and love. I leaned on him a lot – he was always so glad to help and provided such valuable life lessons and insight. Memories of our hikes, bike rides, laughs, sports banter, sushi lunches and special family moments will be cherished forever. I miss you Dad.
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D you are a brother. My Dad love you very much as I and the rest of the family do. You have been a great friend as well as an amazing Dad/husband. We are all sad at the same time I am happy to have the love and support of my family.
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We will be forever grateful to our beloved friend Marilyn for bringing Bill into our lives. We were there during their courtship and subsequent marriage. They included us in many of their adventures. We always marveled at Bill’s enthusiasm for life, wishing it could be bottled for those less fortunate. As much as we thought we knew of all of Bill’s interests and accomplishments, we were apprised of many we were not aware of in the previous comments. He was truly a Renaissance man . He was blessed to have such a loving, partner to care for him in his final days
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As a hands-on Volunteer at Shepherd Home I had the distinct honor to care for Bill as he traveled on his final journey.
Bill was always so very appreciative, not only of our care but for all his family and friends who came to visit him.
Bill enriched our lives every day. One day we had the opportunity to move Bill’s bed outside to the deck where he met several friends and simply enjoyed the sun on his face.
Marilyn, you provided a great example to all of us as to how to say goodbye with deep respect and love. We will miss both of you.
Peace be with you. MJ -
Bill was my first little brother and we shared a special sibling bond as the first Pickett kids. We spent a lot of time together as brother and sister who then welcomed four more siblings to our ranks. Even as a little boy, Bill was kind and charming. Over the years we became close friends, sharing the highs and lows of our lives. We had a mutual interest in writing and a love of language and encouraged each other in our writing pursuits. We kept in touch with what was going on with our children. Bill was incredibly proud of his children–not just for their many accomplishments, but also for the fine people they’ve become. Although I had one child (compared to his seven), Bill always asked about Gerry and his family. Bill and my husband Peter shared a love of photography and literature, and over the years they became as close as brothers. I love my little brother with all my heart and will miss him every day. I send peace and love to his loved ones and am sad that I cannot be with you.
–love, Anola -
I read with great sadness of Bill’s passing today. I would have loved to have more conversations with him. I so appreciated his and Marilyn’s support for the Coffee Connection and all the encouragement he gave. So sorry that his life is ended. Comfort and peace to all family and friends. Our world has been served well by Bill’s life.
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Marilyn and family, i was truly blessed to come to know and work with Bill through St. Catherine’s parish. His (and Marilyn’s) commitment and support to our contemporary Christian Music Ministry, Voices Raised, will always be remembered. May God Bless Bill, and BLess his family so that they find comfort and peace. In memories of such a great man!
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Bill was a devoted friend to our family for many years and words can not express how much he will be missed. Tom and Bill had a true friendship filled with mutual respect, sense of humor, and dedication to their loved ones.
We cherish our memories of so many happy times and Bill will always be in our prayers.
All of our love to our dear friends- Marilyn and the Pickett family.
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What more can be said, at the end of life but “Here was a good man.” Bill Pickett was a good man in so many ways. He loved his wife and children deeply, he inspired his community by the example he set, he was generous with his time and treasure, and he practiced his faith. I have been immensely blessed by his company, intellect and integrity for nearly 40 years. I have been enriched by his advice and counsel. So many people in Rochester have been impacted by his time among us. Thank God for the life of William Lee Pickett, Jr.
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Dr. Pickett was a man ahead of his time. He sought out a way to develop a recruitment for minority members to become faculty members at St. John Fisher long before there was a diversity issue. I was the first African/American tenure track faculty member at the college due to his efforts. The opportunity was a door way that I have always been grateful to him for opening for me.
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